Closing Our Barnehage Chapter, Opening Another

On endings, beginnings, and being held in a new country

This week is my son’s last week at Barnehage (kindergarten). He starts school next month after a very anticipated holiday break. This is a huge milestone for him, and quite honestly for the entire family, and lately I’ve been very reflective about closing cycles and starting new ones.

As we get closer to this conclusion, I can’t help but think about the beginning and why this is all feeling so emotional to me, while the other mums are like, “Sure, this is nice…” (lol). Culturally, most families in Norway have more than one child, and specifically at this barnehage, most of his friends have younger siblings who will continue to go there. So the other mums will keep stopping by, chatting at drop‑off, staying connected to that little world. Not my case though.

I had Thomas when we were living in the US. Unlike everyone here, I had only 12 weeks of maternity leave, and my husband had no paternity leave at all. In Norway, on average, maternity leave lasts 9–12 months and paternity leave about 4 months. So Thomas has been attending daycare since he was 3 months old, long before we ever knew we would move to Norway.

First day at daycare in Houston

It was May 2021 when we first learned about the move. At that point, we had already missed all the deadlines to apply for a spot in a barnehage, and that’s when our journey began. From May to August we obsessed about where Thomas would go. My husband and I were already back at work, the barnehager were full, and even the ones that had space usually only took kids who were 12 months old or close to it. We were nowhere near that.

From there came months of emails to the kommune (local county), to barnehager, to dagmammaer – the childminders who turn their homes into mini daycares. Nothing was available. Most didn’t even respond, thanks to the Norwegian summer when everything slows down and many things shut down from mid‑June to July. We were losing hope and making plans for me to take a leave from my job or cut back to part‑time when we finally got an acceptance letter from a barnehage. That was late August. Thomas would have a spot from September 1st that year. They accepted him at 8 months old.

The barnehage was not far from our new home, just a 10‑minute walk. It was run by missionaries, and once a week they taught the kids about religion. We are not a religious family, although I was raised Catholic like many Brazilians. But honestly, I was glad. I took it as a sign that everything was going to be fine.

We went from the summer heat of Houston, Texas, to a gentle 20‑degree winter in Rio, staying with family while my husband came to Norway to sort out housing, and then into the beginning of Norwegian autumn. We knew nothing about raising young kids in Norway. Literally nothing. This barnehage not only opened their arms to Thomas, but also to us as a family.

They held our hands and taught us everything we needed to know: from clothing layers to the right stroller, to naps outside – yes, this is a real thing in the Nordic countries and I was terrified at first. It turns out kids love it, it builds their immune systems, and they sleep so much better. Overall, it was such a smooth ride.

I blinked and five years went by, just like that. Thomas is ready to start his new chapter and, quite honestly, so am I. There is something very symbolic about ending cycles, and ending them properly – with dignity and gratitude. Letting the emotions come, interpreting them, understanding them, processing them, and preparing to move on.

I am confident that he is going to nail school, and something tells me that the second half of 2026 will be amazing for us all as a family.

I’m excited.